I don’t want to be your life coach.
I'm here because I want to show you how to coach yourself.
Because you deserve to move through the world with your inner authority calling the shots.
Instead of struggling from indecision, powerlessness, and self-doubt, I’ll help you become your own self-sustaining biosphere, in which you have the tools to give yourself :
permission to make decisions
validation on how you feel
approval of your actions
Imagine how much more energized you would be if your decisions, feelings, and actions depended on you, not the feedback, expectations, or baggage of other people.
You would make more money.
You would know when it's time to get out of a relationship.
You wouldn't feel guilty about spending money on yourself.
You'd hear opposing viewpoints without feeling rattled or defensive.
You would speak up for yourself – without your voice shaking.
The thing is, women are taught to take care of everyone else first.
But making other people comfortable and happy isn't going to earn you comfort and happiness.
Serving others isn't a roundabout way of getting what you need.
It just gives people the power to decide if you get what you need or not.
It is possible to be the authority on your own life– I've done it.
The opinions and needs of other people used to have a lot of power over me. Their comfort was more important than my own; their discomfort was more urgent than my own.
So I lived my life hedging my bets:
I only applied to jobs I thought there was a possibility of getting.
I requested base salaries I thought I had the possibility of earning.
I never went beyond what I thought I could get.
The little successes, the easy wins, kept me feeing safe. I wasn’t taking up too much space or getting in anybody’s way. But these little wins also told me something else:
this is all you are capable of.
Even when I started to admit I wanted more: higher salary, better orgasms, a nicer apartment, I felt blocked from getting it.
I'm guessing this is where you are: aware you want more (and sensing that you are capable of so much more), but every time you reach for change you get in your own way.
You don't want to be selfish.
You don't want to act like you are better than other people.
You don't want to make people uncomfortable.
You don’t want to get your hopes up only to be disappointed.
Here's what I had to learn:
Taking responsibility for how other people feel prevents you from doing your actual job: taking responsibility for how you feel.
Because this work isn't about improving you.
This is about ownership.
Ownership is the only path to using your gifts and contributing them to the world.
Ownership allows you to know and claim your whole self so that you can lean on her, strengthen her, and express her as opposed to looking to others for stability, direction, and validation.
Our work of ownership together has three stages: self trust, independence, and expertise.
First, get attuned to your intuition and learn how to trust your impulses. No more self doubt or exporting decisions. You'll become more decisive, more self-aware, and more impulsive (in the most adventurous, spontaneous way).
Second, release the weight of other people's opinions and expectations so you can follow your own sense of right. You will learn how to set boundaries so that you are not thrown off by what other people say and do or distracted by the need to do or say anything for the sake of other people.
Third, you will become your own expert.
You know how moms of toddlers know exactly what the toddler is saying when it sounds like gibberish to everyone else? That will be you with yourself.
In the third stage, you will have clear communication with your core self to discern what is true for you, what actions you want to take, and what is within your control.
And once you know these things, no one will be able to make you doubt yourself, question your behavior, or apologize for things that are not your fault.
You will have custody over your reality.
Look, this is scary. Freedom is responsibility. You won’t be able to blame other people for your actions or hedge your bets or complain about your life. (Those used to be my favorite pastimes.)
But you won't want to, because you'll be busy with a life that fills you with energy and confidence. The opinions of other people won't be relevant anymore. The fear of failure won't hold as much weight.
You'll be locked in an ongoing conversation with yourself and your life, growing your capacity to self-advocate, live boldly, and receive love.
And what’s more?
You'll have the tools to coach yourself through your own future, becoming the true expert on your life.
Ready to dive in?
I can’t wait to meet you,